Turning Fifty

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Tomorrow, I turn fifty.

I can’t believe I am going to be fifty. I remember the fiftieth birthdays of my parents and my gran, and thinking how old they seemed.

I feel youthful and I know that I do not look my age. For that, I am grateful. It’s the thought of actually being fifty that is troubling me.

I had no issue with becoming forty. I was looking forward to it, as this really was supposed to be ‘the year that life began’, as the saying goes. In addition to reaching a landmark age, I was getting married and qualifying into a profession I had spent many years as a mature student studying and training for. Neither the marriage nor the profession turned out as expected. A few years later I developed a serious health issue that required many operations, which has changed the course of my life. My forties, so far, had not been the happy and successful time I had anticipated.

Soon after my last major operation, my sexual reawakening began. I was 46. My alter ego, Miss Scarlet, appeared. As my confidence grew, I embarked on a series of sexual adventures, none of which proved to be anything special. That was until last year, when I met my beloved S, who has bought me so much happiness and changed my life for the better in so many ways.

I am entering this next decade with much to look forward to and I keep telling myself fifty is the new forty.

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Aged forty-nine!

 

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Wicked Wednesday #8: Getting Older

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It starts on the day we are born – we grow older. For roughly the first twenty years of our lives we never think about our age. Maybe some people don’t think about it for the first thirty years. But there comes a time when you do think about growing older. Are you at that point yet? How long have you thought about getting older? How old are you? Do you regret getting older? Why or why not? Come on, talk to us about age, your age! 

 

Getting older is something that I frequently think about. I am 48 and often dwell on the worry that I have not made the most of my life so far. Although I have done many things in my life, I frequently think about missed opportunities and wish I had made different decisions. Life for me, was supposed to start at 40, but fate had some nasty surprises in store and things went pear-shaped in a big way. However, most of the bad luck relates to work, family, health and friendship and as this is a sex-related meme, I shall concentrate on that theme.

I met my husband when I was 29 and prior to that had had a number of sexual partners, but I would not particularly rate any of them as being outstanding or particularly memorable. Apart from the first one, the rest were all about the guys and their selfish pleasure. I wouldn’t have had the confidence at that age to have questioned it – that’s how it was, sex was mainly about the man.  I have blogged before about my sexual relationship with my husband, so will not repeat the details again, but have linked it here if you wish to read further. But to sum up, at the age of 46, I genuinely believed that I would never have sex again, and had resigned myself to that fate. I felt fat, unattractive and undesirable. Then I discovered the dark side of Twitter and the dream of being sexually attractive and desirable became real. Some other adventures subsequently happened and I started this blog – none of which would have occurred without Twitter.

I feel more sexually confident than I have ever done before, even though I have put on weight. But that confidence still needs to grow and be enhanced through further experiences. I now know what I want and what I don’t want sexually; which I guess is one of the advantages of getting older.  But finding what I want is not proving to be a quick process and I do worry that time may not be on my side. I feel that my window of opportunity is a very limited one. Although I do often feel sexy and desirable, I realise that my age may dictate that this could disappear any time soon.  I know age is only a number, but our bodies usually say one thing, while our minds say another!  I have only just rediscovered sex and I don’t want to lose it again so soon!

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Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked