My Special Friend

Standard

This prompt is another suggestion of the lovely Charlie Powell of Sex Blog of Sorts: Friend.

Do you have a special friend? One, more? How did you become friends? How do you classify friendship? Did you have friendships that ended? Why? How did the end of the friendship affect you? Or maybe you have a friend with benefits? Tell us more about that?

I have made no secret, here on this blog, of my search for a ‘friend with benefits’. The background to  this can be found here.

Earlier this year, I met a very lovely man, who is in a similar position to me. We met onlne, as is the norm these days. I had actually rejected his advances for a few months, but his persistence in pursuing me eventually paid off and I agreed to meet him for a coffee.  We subsequently agreed to meet again a few days later at a hotel.

I was incredibly nervous at that second meeting and he attempted to relax me with a sensuous tantric massage. It worked and I eventually started to loosen up enjoy the feel of his hands on my body. I  gave him a blowjob. And from that day things have gone from strength to strength. We usually meet at a hotel once a week but also enjoy each others’ company beyond the bedroom.  We meet for coffee, go for lunch, go away overnight occasionally, speak by phone when we can and exchange several messages each day. Plus other misadventures… We also help each other in our respective work lives as our skills complement each other.

He is very affectionate and tactile, which is very important to me as I love cuddling, fondling and kissing.He loves my boobs and can’t get enough of them. We have similar interests and I have learned a lot about tantric sex and how to give a slow and sensuous lingam massage. Early on in our relationship, we talked about unfulfilled fantasies and sexual experiences, and was very encouraging in this respect. He is keen to watch me with other people and to see the effects of one of my lingam massages…  That is not a request for volunteers…

I  didn’t expect that a friendship of this type could be as loving and caring. I have never felt uncomfortable in his presence and generally feel I can talk to him about most things. He definitely knows more about me than anyone else. I don’t think the terms ‘friend with benefits’ or ‘fuckbuddy’ are really appropriate to describe our relationship. I think the term ‘lover’ is a more accurate description.  It’s not perfect; there is the occasional thing that frustrates me about our arrangement.  And the nature of it means that what  we would like to do  doesn’t always go ahead. But, on balalance, things are pretty good. He knows that I won’t tolerate any bullshit or being messed around. He frequently tells me he feels lucky to have me, and my reply is always to agree that he is very lucky indeed!

He does make me happy and I feel blessed to have him in my life.

See who else is particpating in Wicked Wednesday here

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Food For Thought Friday: No Strings Sex

Standard

This is the first time that I have taken part in Food for Thought Friday and this is a good week to start, as the subject matter is one that is quite topical for me at present…

Is it possible to have a long-term ‘no strings’ sexual relationship?

I have blogged before about the fact that I am married, but the sex in my marriage gradually died out and is now non-existent. I did raise the subject with my husband earlier this year, but he made it clear that he is not interested in sex for various reasons. He agreed that if I felt the need to be sexually satisfied, then I should go ahead and seek other sexual partners.  I have no wish to enter into a full-blown emotional relationship with another man, and my mindset is very much that it is purely for sex.  I have come to understand that we cannot expect to get all of our needs in life met by just one person.

However, I would not have sex with someone just for the sake of having sex – I do think a spark, some chemistry or a connection of some kind is essential, so that you actually want to have get naked and have sex with this person. Apart from one drunken encounter on a Greek island 25 years ago, I’ve never been interested in one night stands after the pubs shut. I want to feel desired for who I am and have an enjoyable experience, not just a quick fumble and fuck.

image

I have had a couple of experiences over the last few months, which I  hoped would turn into long-term, occasional sexual relationships. The first one was with anti-condom man. He seemed an ok guy, but when I discovered his irresponsible attitude to safe sex, it was never going to go any further. He was very formal and a bit uptight, so I didn’t feel like I could really be myself in his company. I couldn’t have envisaged laughing uproariously and making innuendos like I normally would. It was nice to be naked and intimate with someone, but there was no connection between us.  So when it fizzled out, I wasn’t particularly bothered. It was a good first experience of no-strings sex, as I felt no emotion or sense of loss.

The second one was a bit of a different character altogether. We had been messaging for four months before me met. I did enjoy exchanging messages as he was very interesting and intelligent and I felt we developed quite a good friendship through those messages, but I was starting to think that he really only wanted a penfriend. To cut a long story short, we did have sex on the third occasion that we met. He was very passionate and I felt comfortable with him and felt we could have an ongoing friendship too. However, his attitude towards me changed after that day.  He reckoned he felt guilty and talked about how he was a very emotional person. I am somewhat sceptical to be honest given some of the things he previously said, but if he is speaking the truth then he can’t obviously handle the emotional side of no-strings sex. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was not for the first time either. My only feelings were ones of annoyance at him blowing hot and cold and a bit of sadness for loss of what I thought was a decent friendship.

So, although my experiences have been short-term so far,  I do believe that it is possible to have a long-term, no-strings sexual relationship with someone. It’s just finding the right person(s) with whom you have the right chemistry and a similar mindset! But, of course, feelings are unpredictable and I suppose it would be possible to develop emotional feelings, but if you don’t try the experience, you will never find out how you fare in this type of situation.  And as I don’t plan to be celibate for the rest of my life, I intend to continue to enjoy finding out!

See how other people answered here on the Food for Thought Friday blog