Why I Like Older Men

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Food for Thought Friday asked:

Do you have a preference when it comes to the age of your sexual partners? What is it and why do you think you have it?

Is there a limit in terms of age that you will not break? What’s too young or too old for you? Why?

When I was 19 and had not long started my first job,  I found a note under the windscreen wipers of my car, after finishing work one day.  It was from a boy who worked at the same place and he wanted to know f I would like to go out with him one night. He was 17. I was horrified. How could I go out with someone so much younger than me? I decided to give it a try as I had only had one previous boyfriend , who was four years older than me. I did see the younger guy quite a few times, but I never felt really comfortable with the age difference, which at the age of 19 seemed enormous. In reality, he was not far off 18 and I was only just 19, so the gap was not much more than a year. But that was not enough for me and I ended it and broke his teder little heart.

After that, most of the boyfriends I had were my age or up to four years older than me. I was much more comfortable with that situation and it felt it was as it should be. My husband is eight years older than me and that has always seemed like a nice-sized gap.

Since I have been exploring my sexual freedom, I have been approached by guys aged from 18 up to 75; a real spectrum of ages!  Much younger guys really seem to crave the attention of women around my age, but for me, they hold little attraction. I think it is the feeling of probbably being older than their mother, which is a stumbling block for me.

I set my limit at about 40, but I probably would consider someone in their thirties.  I seem to atract, and get on well with, men in their fifities, which I am presently quite happy with and have no complaints about! I have found that men of this age are usually very passionate, but there can be the issue of things not quite functoning as they once did…!  As I have mentioned before, I do find grey hair on a man very attractive and I like men to be gentlemen and treat me as a lady;  I generally find that men within this age group do know how to behave in a gentlemanly way.  I am unlikely to consider anyone beyond this age group, as it conjures up thoughts of getting towards the same age as my dad, which again is a pyschological barrier for me. Although having read of what some of these very much older gentlement claim to be able to do….

Join in the discussion here

F4TF #8 - The Number

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Why I Love My Boobs

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The question posed by Food For Thought Friday is all about boobs, so I will combine this post with a Boobday picture!

For guys and girls who like girls – what is it that you like about boobs? Is there an ideal shape or size?

For girls – how do you feel about how you feel about your “girls”? Are you happy with them? Have you always been?

For everyone – do you think the female “chest” has been over sexualised

My boobs are one of the parts of my body that I am satisfied with; for their appearance and the pleasure that they bring. I am quite happy with the cup size, although I often think that my boobs look bigger to people than they actually are.  The cup size has fluctuated through the passage of time as I have aged and gained weight, and although  I would like to lose some weight,  with that would likely come a reduction in cup size and I definitely don’t want that!

I don’t recall thinking an awful lot about my boobs during adolescence. However, I I do remember my mum getting me my first bra from BHS, which, from memory, was a either a 30 or 32A.

I have always been aware of the attention that having an ample bosom brings; it’s easy to notice men looking, which I have no complaints about.  I am quite comfortable with being topless on holiday, and, more recently, have taken part in a various naturist  (non-sexual) activities.

However, one thing I don’t like is when men speak to me and address my chest instead of my face. That has occurred a number of times and often in workplaces. The fact that I have had to work with people who do that makes me slightly uncomfortable. Also, I learned a number of years ago that combining tops with buttons and a heaving bosom was not a good combination.  I have been blissfully unaware on many occasions that at least one button on my top was undone, boldly revealing the contents of my bra. Now, I rarely buy tops with buttons.

I absolutely adore the moment when a guy unhooks my bra and sees my boobs for the first time. Their reactions are fantastic to see and they are usually very complimentary,  especially about my nipples, which are quite prominent. One of my biggest pleasures is watching a man sucking and playing with my nipples. Seeing the effect that this has is a massive turn-on for me. My nipples can usually take any amount of attention and it is a guaranteed way to get me going. I wrote more on this in the Kink Of The Week post on nipple play.

And, of course, I don’t need much excuse to show my boobs on Twitter or on my blog!

In terms of whether boobs have been over-sexualised in society…  I have no problem with anyone using their body for whatever purpose they choose. If women can make a living out of showing her boobs, then why not? I would, if I thought I could! Sadly, I am a bit too old now! I also love to see other women’s boobs, they are all so different. But just because I like to look at other boobs  does not mean that I have sexual feelings for the women concerned. I have seen  one or two men on Twitter making quite childish and inappropriate comments when other  women compliment each other on their breasts.

So, I can definitely say that I like my boobs and love showing them off  And  if others can get pleasure from them too, then I am delighted!

See the other points of view on this question here

See the other lovely Boobday participants…

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What Turns Me Off

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The Food for Thought Friday question this week…

What would constitute a deal-breaker in terms of finding someone attractive? List the top three things that would be a serious turn off for you; it can be physical, a personality quirk, a habit… whatever does NOT float your boat!

Smoking

My biggest dislike in life is smoking, of any kind, and it is one area where I will not compromise my principles. I was more tolerant when I was younger, but as I have aged, I know what I do and do not like. If I get a flu or cold-type illness, it always affects my chest very badly, and I believe that this is a result of being around people that smoked,  when I was younger. I was in contact with someone recently and it turned out they were a smoker, so despite their desperate pleas that they were trying to give up, it was a definite no thank you from me as they were still smoking. I cannot bear the smell that surrounds smokers and the thought of kissing someone that smokes really turns me off. I can honestly say that for me this  is a definite dealbreaker. You could be my ideal man, my perfect partner, irresistible in every way, but if you smoked, I would flatly turn you down.

Arrogance

I have never been impressed by arrogant or cocky men. I am not the type to swoon and simper and be impressed by a show of being ‘Jack the lad’. I am more likely to give a Paddington Bear-type hard stare and think what a complete and utter jerk they are. I am a fairly reserved character, and while I appreciate an outgoing personality in others to bring me out of myself, I think people can be extrovert without being arrogant. For example, I cannot bear the TV programme ‘The Apprentice’. I saw ten minutes of it once and that was enough. The egos that feature are good examples of the type of person that I cannot abide.

Self-Centred

In life in general, this is a trait I abhor, so in a relationship or sexual encounter,  it is a true dealbreaker. Perhaps I should have grouped this trait together with arrogance under a general heading of narcissism, but there are a few actions that are guaranteed to make me mad, so I wanted to list these specifically:

  • Monopolising a conversation.
  • Making any conversation about the other person
  • Talking over the other person
  • Showing no interest in what the other person has to say
  • Not listening
  • Only being in contact when they want something

I could go on, but I am sure you get the picture and no doubt we all know a number of people like this! I have experienced many people with some or all of these habits. I met someone last year who turned every conversation around to himself and talked over me and other people incessantly. In the end, I figured it was just easier to say very little as I wasn’t being listened to. And that was the end of that!

It was quite difficult to think of things that would be absolute dealbreakers. I think I can be quite intolerant sometimes, but often the things that annoy me are quite minor and too trivial to be dealbreakers. If you like someone, you can change your mindset on certain things. But, those minor things can become dealbreakers if the spark is more of a damp squib or one party is less keen than the other I guess. One other thing I did consider as was poor personal hygiene, but, to play devil’s advocate, perhaps if it is addressed in the correct way. it can be dealt with, whereas the personality traits I raised above are generally ingrained in someone’s character. But, as always, first impressions are so important and I certainly would not want to be intimate with someone with poor hygiene.

See the other replies here

 

F4TF#4: What is Sexy?

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What is sexy? Is it appearance, is it an attitude, or is it just some unfathomable quality that you see in someone?

As human beings, we are unique. We have differing views and opinions in life, including what we consider to be sexy.  Having sat and thought carefully about what I think is sexy, I believe it applies just as much to appearance, physical acts, attitude, and personal qualities and attributes. Here are some of the things (and people) that I consider to be sexy.

Tall men

Expensive-smelling aftershave and cologne – especially getting a waft as a stranger walks past

Individuality

Creativity

The Hairy Bikers

Jersey trunks/boxer shorts

A smile from a stranger

Kindness and consideration for others

Bodily imperfections

Being genuinely interested in the other person and what they have to say

Men with grey hair

A nice bottom

Running my hand the wrong way over very short clipped/shaved hair

Watching a man put a condom on or doing it for him

Curvaceous and voluptuous women

Kissing

Nails being run across my back or doing the same to someone

Men with a nice rounded belly

Being respectful

Men in motorcycle leathers

Mr Bates, the valet, from Downton Abbey

Intelligence

Greg Davies

Quiet determination

Laughter

Men who enjoy wearing women’s knickers

Eye contact

 

See the other thoughts here…  https://foodforthoughtfriday.wordpress.com/

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F4TF#3: First Touch

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The “loss” of virginity is commonly held to be the first time that you had penetrative sex with someone. This, however, is just one of a range of sexual “firsts” that we have and, quite likely, wasn’t even the first of those “firsts”. So, today we are asking:

What was the first overtly sexual act you performed on someone else or had performed on you? How did you feel about it afterwards?

I wrote before for Wicked Wednesday about losing my virginity, which I consider my proper first time. Prior to that I had very little experience with boys. I went to an all-girls school during the early eighties, and although the boys had a school next door, I was never a member of the ‘crowd’ and boys held no interest for me. Nor would any boys have been interested in me; I was painfully shy, awkward and had thick glasses.

When I was 16, I left school, got contact lenses and went into further education, where I made a good friend.  She often used to call her boyfriend at work, from a payphone, during the college day.  She regularly used to tell me about a work colleague of his, and was quite obviously playing matchmaker. Inevitably, I ended up giggling down the phone nervously to him a couple of times during her phone calls.

Her boyfriend was having a 21st birthday party at a local social club. I was invited, and I was told that his friend, whom I had spoken with, was going to be there too. We chatted, danced and snogged on the dance floor. He then offered to ‘walk me home’ at the end of the night. I was a naive and gullible 16 year old, who was delighted that any lad had shown an interest in her and had no thought whatsoever for safety.

He took me to a local park, where there was a bandstand in the middle. He led me up the steps. It was around midnight and pitch black. My leg suddenly went through the floor; there was a gap in the floorboards, which there was no way of seeing. I was in agony and a bit shaken, but there was no way that I was going home. ‘I’ll be fine’, I said. Being such a gentleman and realising that my leg was not broken, he then decided that I was game for further sport. This spot was probably not appropriate for what he had in mind and he subsequently took me to another park in the town. This time we lay on the grass. It was July, and I had a thin cotton skirt and sleeveless top on. He took the opportunity to be all over me like a rash. His hands were everywhere. I naively hadn’t expected more than a bit of snogging. I don’t remember the intricate details, but I do recall that I kept saying no and pushing his hands away from trying to get in my knickers. He also was desperate to feel my boobs. I knew I didn’t want him to, and I shall never forget him saying ‘but it’s only skin, like any other part of your body’, when I tried to stop his hands from sneaking under my bra. He got the message in the end and stopped, but made it clear that I was the one in the wrong for denying him the freedom to grope me.  I never felt scared, but I do remember thinking it wasn’t right; I didn’t want someone I barely knew touching me like that. And there was no pleasure, whatsoever. it just felt mechanical. I did find out during the fumblings, that he had been in trouble with the police for arson and was clearly from the wrong kind of background and part of town.

He did have the decency to walk me home, which was about 25 minutes away. By this time it was about 3am. What I hadn’t bargainned for was my mum waiting on the other side of the front door. He soon scarpered. Needless to say,  I got into trouble for staying out so late without ringing home. But, my mum was more concerned about the dangerous situation I had put myself in with a man I didn’t know. And, there was the matter of my injured shin too. It was severely bruised the next day and incredibly painful. I have had a small bump on my shinbone ever since that night. A permanent reminder.

Although not overtly sexual, it was my first experience of being touched by a man and a rude awakening as to how naive and innocent I was when it came to matters of the flesh.

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Food for Thought Friday #2: The Naked Truth

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Are you at ease being naked? Do you feel more comfortable clothed or unclothed? Can you explain why you feel this way?

For me, being at ease with being naked has three distinct elements:

Body Confidence

Putting on weight gradually over a number of years meant that I did not feel particularly confident with the way that my body looked. Part of the way of trying to overcome this was to share tasteful pictures of my body on Twitter. This was a huge step for me, as I wanted to push my boundaries and do something that would usually be out of character for me.  Baring all not only helped to increase my confidence, but also provided an outlet for my exhibitionist side.

I was overwhelmed by the kind and positive comments received in response to my nude form and it was only then I realised that you didn’t have to be thin and petite for both men and women to think your body looked OK. And the fact that you might even be considered to be sexually attractive too was a real bonus! So, this definitely made me more at ease with my own nudity.

I did write a blog post some time ago regarding body confidence and expands the point above further.

Exhibitionism

I have always been a shy person, but the underlying desire to ‘show my body off’ in some way has been there since around the age of 18. But this urge hasn’t really been allowed to surface until the last couple of years. The fact that I enjoy being naked, and now have more body confidence, helps to fuel the exhibitionist streak. Knowing that someone is sexually aroused as a result of looking at my naked body, whether that be part of a sexual encounter or by looking at photos gives me an enormous confidence boost.

I enjoy posing for photos, albeit mainly indoors by myself, and only for the camera timer, but it would be nice to have an enthusiastic accomplice for this activity.  I have taken a couple of scavenger hunt selfies outdoors, which I did get a thrill out of doing, and I hope to have the opportunity to explore this further.

Naturism

I absolutely adore being naked outside and have always found it to be an incredibly uplifting and liberating experience.   Unfortunately, I don’t get the opportunity to strip off outdoors as often as I would like due to lack of suitable locations, an overlooked back garden and the UK weather, but I have been able to visit a couple of nudist beaches over the years and have also visited a wonderful naturist spa on a  number of occasions.

At home, I don’t tend to frequently spend long periods of time naked, despite being there for long periods of time by myself; it just doesn’t  occur to me. Although, I may try and make a more of a conscious effort to strip off at home.  I do always sleep naked though – whatever the time of year.  My husband, although not  generally prudish, is not that comfortable with nudity beyond what is deemed necessary. For example, if I walked around in the nude first thing in the morning or last thing at night, he wouldn’t comment, or probably even notice!  But if I did this at other times of the day, I know he would feel  uncomfortable with it. He did visit a nudist beach many years ago with me, and hated the experience.

The feeling of the sun or a light breeze on the naked body is a wonderful experience. To be able to walk around free from clothing. To sit in a hot tub. To be surrounded by other people of all shapes and sizes who are all comfortable in their bodies.When I have been in a naturist environment, I have not found it it to be a sexual experience and certainly have never used it as an opportunity to get a thrill out of people looking at my naked form. In fact, that is far from my mind. A good description for the experience is sensual, which someone used when commenting on my previous blog post on naturism. And I genuinely think that everyone’s body is beautiful in different ways, so what could be more sensual than that?

To summarise,  I am at ease being naked and the type of enjoyment experienced depends on the situation I happen to be naked for!

 

 

Food For Thought Friday: No Strings Sex

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This is the first time that I have taken part in Food for Thought Friday and this is a good week to start, as the subject matter is one that is quite topical for me at present…

Is it possible to have a long-term ‘no strings’ sexual relationship?

I have blogged before about the fact that I am married, but the sex in my marriage gradually died out and is now non-existent. I did raise the subject with my husband earlier this year, but he made it clear that he is not interested in sex for various reasons. He agreed that if I felt the need to be sexually satisfied, then I should go ahead and seek other sexual partners.  I have no wish to enter into a full-blown emotional relationship with another man, and my mindset is very much that it is purely for sex.  I have come to understand that we cannot expect to get all of our needs in life met by just one person.

However, I would not have sex with someone just for the sake of having sex – I do think a spark, some chemistry or a connection of some kind is essential, so that you actually want to have get naked and have sex with this person. Apart from one drunken encounter on a Greek island 25 years ago, I’ve never been interested in one night stands after the pubs shut. I want to feel desired for who I am and have an enjoyable experience, not just a quick fumble and fuck.

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I have had a couple of experiences over the last few months, which I  hoped would turn into long-term, occasional sexual relationships. The first one was with anti-condom man. He seemed an ok guy, but when I discovered his irresponsible attitude to safe sex, it was never going to go any further. He was very formal and a bit uptight, so I didn’t feel like I could really be myself in his company. I couldn’t have envisaged laughing uproariously and making innuendos like I normally would. It was nice to be naked and intimate with someone, but there was no connection between us.  So when it fizzled out, I wasn’t particularly bothered. It was a good first experience of no-strings sex, as I felt no emotion or sense of loss.

The second one was a bit of a different character altogether. We had been messaging for four months before me met. I did enjoy exchanging messages as he was very interesting and intelligent and I felt we developed quite a good friendship through those messages, but I was starting to think that he really only wanted a penfriend. To cut a long story short, we did have sex on the third occasion that we met. He was very passionate and I felt comfortable with him and felt we could have an ongoing friendship too. However, his attitude towards me changed after that day.  He reckoned he felt guilty and talked about how he was a very emotional person. I am somewhat sceptical to be honest given some of the things he previously said, but if he is speaking the truth then he can’t obviously handle the emotional side of no-strings sex. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was not for the first time either. My only feelings were ones of annoyance at him blowing hot and cold and a bit of sadness for loss of what I thought was a decent friendship.

So, although my experiences have been short-term so far,  I do believe that it is possible to have a long-term, no-strings sexual relationship with someone. It’s just finding the right person(s) with whom you have the right chemistry and a similar mindset! But, of course, feelings are unpredictable and I suppose it would be possible to develop emotional feelings, but if you don’t try the experience, you will never find out how you fare in this type of situation.  And as I don’t plan to be celibate for the rest of my life, I intend to continue to enjoy finding out!

See how other people answered here on the Food for Thought Friday blog