A Big Thank You & 2015 in Review

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I started this blog at Easter, 2015 as an outlet for my random thoughts and to help increase my confidence and push my boundaries.  This time last year, I would never have thought I would have written some of the things that I have, let alone done some of the things I have written about!

I am truly grateful that people take the time to read and comment on  what I have written. Thank you all so very much.

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 8,100 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Wicked Wednesday #3: Highlights of 2015

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I decided that I would like to write something for this latest prompt of ‘Summarize’, as I have been thinking over the events of 2015 recently.  I am not sure I would class them all as achievements or accomplishments; I think some could be defined as experiences or quite minor events.  But they have all had an effect on my life or provided enjoyment in some way. And they are not all sex-related!

One thing that I like to do is put a lot of detail into things. I have realised that with my blog posts. I like to ensure that all the facts are there and there is a logical flow. Although, no one else will obviously know if any detail is missing, I  know and I like things to be done properly –  I am very conscientious.  I have deliberately written this as a list  to stop me from giving huge amounts of detail!

Highlights of 2015 (in no particular order)

  1. Starting this blog.
  2. Trying to learn and understand WordPress.
  3. Becoming more confident at sharing my thoughts and writing frankly about sex and other life issues.
  4. Getting the confidence to take part in various blogging memes including Sinful Sunday, Boobday and Wicked Wednesday.
  5. Getting my first Wicked Wednesday post picked as one of Rebel’s top 3.
  6. Visiting a naturist spa.
  7. Addressing the issue of lack of sex in my marriage.
  8. Experiencing new sexual partners.
  9. Feeling sexually attractive and desirable.
  10. Experiencing oral sex again after an absence of 20 years. And getting an orgasm!
  11. Plucking up the courage to ask for a Doxy for my birthday.
  12. Reading extensively and gaining a new perspective on the issue of monogamy.
  13. Taking some sexy selfies in public places.
  14. Making some wonderful friends on Twitter.
  15. Experiencing some ‘interesting’ Skype calls with a great Twitter friend on the other side of the world.
  16. Undertaking training for some voluntary work involving public speaking for a charity.
  17. Visiting the V&A museum and Tate Modern for the first time in London.
  18. Undergoing some successful surgical treatment for an eye condition.
  19. Making some new (and good) friends in real life.
  20. Having a successful course of laser hair removal.
  21. Spending enjoyable holidays at the seaside in Norfolk and Dorset.
  22. Seeing an abundance of red squirrels at Brownsea Island in September.
  23. Getting round to replacing my passport, which expired three years ago.

I am slightly irritated that I have not got a nice round number of entries in my list. In 2016 I shall endeavour to keep a journal of positive events to make this task easier next time!

Click the button to see who else is participating in Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Food For Thought Friday: No Strings Sex

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This is the first time that I have taken part in Food for Thought Friday and this is a good week to start, as the subject matter is one that is quite topical for me at present…

Is it possible to have a long-term ‘no strings’ sexual relationship?

I have blogged before about the fact that I am married, but the sex in my marriage gradually died out and is now non-existent. I did raise the subject with my husband earlier this year, but he made it clear that he is not interested in sex for various reasons. He agreed that if I felt the need to be sexually satisfied, then I should go ahead and seek other sexual partners.  I have no wish to enter into a full-blown emotional relationship with another man, and my mindset is very much that it is purely for sex.  I have come to understand that we cannot expect to get all of our needs in life met by just one person.

However, I would not have sex with someone just for the sake of having sex – I do think a spark, some chemistry or a connection of some kind is essential, so that you actually want to have get naked and have sex with this person. Apart from one drunken encounter on a Greek island 25 years ago, I’ve never been interested in one night stands after the pubs shut. I want to feel desired for who I am and have an enjoyable experience, not just a quick fumble and fuck.

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I have had a couple of experiences over the last few months, which I  hoped would turn into long-term, occasional sexual relationships. The first one was with anti-condom man. He seemed an ok guy, but when I discovered his irresponsible attitude to safe sex, it was never going to go any further. He was very formal and a bit uptight, so I didn’t feel like I could really be myself in his company. I couldn’t have envisaged laughing uproariously and making innuendos like I normally would. It was nice to be naked and intimate with someone, but there was no connection between us.  So when it fizzled out, I wasn’t particularly bothered. It was a good first experience of no-strings sex, as I felt no emotion or sense of loss.

The second one was a bit of a different character altogether. We had been messaging for four months before me met. I did enjoy exchanging messages as he was very interesting and intelligent and I felt we developed quite a good friendship through those messages, but I was starting to think that he really only wanted a penfriend. To cut a long story short, we did have sex on the third occasion that we met. He was very passionate and I felt comfortable with him and felt we could have an ongoing friendship too. However, his attitude towards me changed after that day.  He reckoned he felt guilty and talked about how he was a very emotional person. I am somewhat sceptical to be honest given some of the things he previously said, but if he is speaking the truth then he can’t obviously handle the emotional side of no-strings sex. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was not for the first time either. My only feelings were ones of annoyance at him blowing hot and cold and a bit of sadness for loss of what I thought was a decent friendship.

So, although my experiences have been short-term so far,  I do believe that it is possible to have a long-term, no-strings sexual relationship with someone. It’s just finding the right person(s) with whom you have the right chemistry and a similar mindset! But, of course, feelings are unpredictable and I suppose it would be possible to develop emotional feelings, but if you don’t try the experience, you will never find out how you fare in this type of situation.  And as I don’t plan to be celibate for the rest of my life, I intend to continue to enjoy finding out!

See how other people answered here on the Food for Thought Friday blog