A Rant About Sexual Elitism



Several weeks ago, something was retweeted into my Twitter timeline, which made me feel uncomfortable and has played on my mind since.

It was from an account that had recently been created to offer private sex parties, by invitation, for couples. Nothing wrong with that at all. The thing that troubled me was that it specified that the guests had to be in good shape. By this I assumed it meant physically, as in having a toned and fit body. The photos of people who were obviously involved in this event showed slim bodies with washboard stomachs.

My reason for having a rant  is not because I had a burning desire to attend this particular sex party; it is because I find it sad that being seen as having an imperfect body (both male and female)  can imply somehow that you are not worthy of being sexually attractive or good enough to be included in this type of event.

I certainly wouldn’t fit the ‘in shape’ requirement and I doubt my other perceived imperfections would make me welcome among the ‘elite’ either. It just makes me wonder where those  who aren’t ‘in shape’ and don’t have gym-toned bodies and flat stomachs fit in with this kind of event should they wish to attend one?  That also includes those of us that society deems as unattractive or imperfect in other ways.   Are we all to be put into the misfit category and made to feel that our bodies aren’t attractive enough to be seen naked and to arouse others?

I personally prefer a cuddly man with plenty of flesh; a six-pack does little for me. And, certainly, according to the opinions shown on Twitter, many men love a larger and curvaceous lady.  The fact that we might have great personalities and  amazing sexual techniques seems to be irrelevant in certain circles.

Obviously, these are private events and the organisers are at liberty to invite or decline whomever they choose. And, of course, there are much larger, well-known companies offering similar events to the ‘beautiful people’ of society. A quick internet search revealed that the term ‘sexual elite’ is used by many organisers of sex parties and the majority specify that the participants have to be highly attractive. Sex isn’t the domain of the young, fit, able-bodied, slim and beautiful, etc etc, people of society! We all are capable of being sexy and experiencing sexual desire regardless of our imperfections!

I know that if I ever had the confidence and inclination to go to a sex party (never say never…), I wouldn’t want to be clothed or naked around anyone that displayed a shallow, narrow-minded attitude and judged anyone on their appearance or body shape/size. I would much prefer to be among a bunch of like-minded and kind-hearted people with big personalities and ‘imperfect’ bodies any day!

Hopefully, there are some people who have a non-judgemental approach and do offer well-organised and tasteful parties that do welcome all shapes, sizes and types of people without bias. Maybe there’s a business opportunity here – Miss Scarlet’s Sex Parties for the Proud Bodily Imperfect…!


17 thoughts on “A Rant About Sexual Elitism

  1. I definitely agree with you there, i was looking on some dating sites because i was bored, and some of the description list that some people/couples would like to have in men mostly is exactly what you described: gym-toned bodies and the rest of it! it just makes me feel even more unattractive to even do anything, let alone even try to say hello!
    Long story short; i agree with you and this sexual elitism bullshit must stop because everyone else deserves a try because we only live once!

    Sorry for the long comment but that’s how i feel as well. nice one again 🙂


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