A Rant About Sexual Elitism

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Several weeks ago, something was retweeted into my Twitter timeline, which made me feel uncomfortable and has played on my mind since.

It was from an account that had recently been created to offer private sex parties, by invitation, for couples. Nothing wrong with that at all. The thing that troubled me was that it specified that the guests had to be in good shape. By this I assumed it meant physically, as in having a toned and fit body. The photos of people who were obviously involved in this event showed slim bodies with washboard stomachs.

My reason for having a rant  is not because I had a burning desire to attend this particular sex party; it is because I find it sad that being seen as having an imperfect body (both male and female)  can imply somehow that you are not worthy of being sexually attractive or good enough to be included in this type of event.

I certainly wouldn’t fit the ‘in shape’ requirement and I doubt my other perceived imperfections would make me welcome among the ‘elite’ either. It just makes me wonder where those  who aren’t ‘in shape’ and don’t have gym-toned bodies and flat stomachs fit in with this kind of event should they wish to attend one?  That also includes those of us that society deems as unattractive or imperfect in other ways.   Are we all to be put into the misfit category and made to feel that our bodies aren’t attractive enough to be seen naked and to arouse others?

I personally prefer a cuddly man with plenty of flesh; a six-pack does little for me. And, certainly, according to the opinions shown on Twitter, many men love a larger and curvaceous lady.  The fact that we might have great personalities and  amazing sexual techniques seems to be irrelevant in certain circles.

Obviously, these are private events and the organisers are at liberty to invite or decline whomever they choose. And, of course, there are much larger, well-known companies offering similar events to the ‘beautiful people’ of society. A quick internet search revealed that the term ‘sexual elite’ is used by many organisers of sex parties and the majority specify that the participants have to be highly attractive. Sex isn’t the domain of the young, fit, able-bodied, slim and beautiful, etc etc, people of society! We all are capable of being sexy and experiencing sexual desire regardless of our imperfections!

I know that if I ever had the confidence and inclination to go to a sex party (never say never…), I wouldn’t want to be clothed or naked around anyone that displayed a shallow, narrow-minded attitude and judged anyone on their appearance or body shape/size. I would much prefer to be among a bunch of like-minded and kind-hearted people with big personalities and ‘imperfect’ bodies any day!

Hopefully, there are some people who have a non-judgemental approach and do offer well-organised and tasteful parties that do welcome all shapes, sizes and types of people without bias. Maybe there’s a business opportunity here – Miss Scarlet’s Sex Parties for the Proud Bodily Imperfect…!

 

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Nipple Play: Kink of the Week #1 & Boobday #5

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This is the first time I have taken part in ‘Kink of the Week’, and the subject of nipple play is a perfect subject to start with. And it coincides with Boobday too!

Having my nipples played with is one of my biggest pleasures and a guaranteed way to turn me on. My nipples are incredibly sensitive and respond very quickly to being sucked, licked, flicked, nibbled, squeezed, rubbed etc.I like a good firm touch  – no delicate and dainty stroking please. But, no hard biting or very rough pinching, either. I don’t experience pleasure from pain,  A strong and firm touch will do just fine.

I can stand any amount of nipple play as it really does drive me wild and more so when I can watch a partner flicking their tongue around my nipple or see their hands squeezing the hard pink flesh. I love to observe their enjoyment and concentration as I become more and more aroused. I have never orgasmed through nipple play alone, but I feel I come very close to it. If my clit is touched at the same time, it is absolutely mind-blowing and guaranteed to elicit a powerful orgasm. One other thing about having my nipples touched is that it makes me very wet. Incredibly so, in fact.

My nipples are usually quite prominent and I have received many comments and compliments over the years. .I was recently told ‘you have fantastic nipples and it’s obvious what they are thinking’!

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I have never encountered a man who experiences the same level of arousal and enjoyment from having their nipples played with.  I would love to see a man driven crazy with pleasure from nipple play  and it seems a shame that they don’t seem to experience the level of arousal that women generally do . But, of course, that is compensated for by the enjoyment they experience from playing with women’s nipples. And, I will never complain about that!

 

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Wicked Wednesday#3: My First Time

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The prompt for Wicked Wednesday, this week, is Virginity.

I had sex for the first time at the age of 17, with my first ‘proper’ boyfriend, who was 21. He was a giant of a lad, who was 6’5″ and 20 stone, and played amateur rugby. I was a painfully shy and timid person at that age; I still am shy to some extent, but nothing like the person I was back then.

We had been going out for a few months before we had sex. He was very restrained from what I recall and apart from some groping and one attempt to put his hand in my knickers, we had not gone any further. However, I had started taking the pill in anticipation of the big event. He told me that he had never had sex with anyone else before, but I was always doubtful about that, as he was definitely a typical rugby player and a bit of a ‘lad’. Although, with me, he was always a gentle giant.

We were in his bedroom at his mum and dad’s house one Sunday afternoon, when I suddenly decided that today was going to be the day. ‘Make love to me’, I declared boldly.  I recall that statement quite vividly. So he did what I asked. I think there was very little foreplay, as I certainly was not wet and it was painful as he struggled to enter me.  I remember wondering when the fireworks and amazing sensations were going to start. They never came, but he did. Quite quickly.  It was all quite an anti-climax. I had been building up to this moment for so long, imagining all sorts of wonderful pleasures. I felt cheated somehow and was left wondering what all the fuss about sex was. This feeling was made worse by me not being too thrilled about the mess left afterwards, either.

I was quite naive about sex back then.  Sex education at home and at school had consisted of a brief description of how sex was a functional process for making babies. I knew, of course, from the media and listening to others, that it was also to be enjoyed, but I didn’t know anything about getting aroused beforehand. I thought that the magic ‘just happened’.

I was shortly to realise how pleasurable other forms of sex could be though. I can’t remember whether it was on the same day, or on another occasion, but he introduced me to the delights of oral sex.  Being naive, I thought that sex only happened when a man was on top of a woman. It was a complete revelation to me that anyone would use their mouth for sexual pleasure. But, I was overwhelmed with how good it felt and it was only a few days afterwards that I realised the sensations experienced were me being brought to orgasm with his tongue. After that, neither of us could get enough of oral sex. He loved going down on me as much as I enjoyed him doing it. I recall him being quite intrigued with how incredibly wet it made me.

Sadly, I have never encountered any further partners who were as willing and skilled with their tongue, or had the same ability to make me feel sexy and desired. Maybe, as an innocent 17-year-old, I was more relaxed. I didn’t have body confidence issues then and, surprisingly, for one so timid, I had no inhibitions in talking about sex with him and never felt self-conscious, as I knew his desire for my body and to pleasure me was genuine.

We felt incredibly grown-up when we bought the ‘Joy of Sex’ and its sequel and spent many happy hours experimenting with its various suggestions.My curiosity around sex was certainly awakened, and I realised that I had an exhibitionist streak, which he actively encouraged.

We went out for two years before, inevitably, the desire and sex waned. The relationship ended when I started my first full-time job and discovered what else life had to offer. But, I have always had a penchant for tall and well-built men ever since.

See the other Wicked Wednesday tales here.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked